There is much written about the alleged limits of sexual stimulation of a women by sexual intercourse (penetration and thrusting), as opposed, for example, to manual stimulation, with its more direct action on the clitoris. (This is often contained in discussions about women not achieving orgasm as successfully as men.) But this strikes me as written either from the viewpoint of a man or from the viewpoint of a woman who doesn’t have a deep and long-term love relationship with the man she is having relations with. It ignores the experience of “the gasp.”
There are interesting studies that indicate how much women value sexual union, which reflect an important psychological truth about the importance of the physical sexual union to women, even without orgasm. Many men and women tend to hyper-focus on orgasm as the ultimate sexual high. I would be the last one to deny the importance of a woman’s orgasm, but a focus on a woman’s physiological pleasure in orgasm can miss out on the psychological importance of sexual intercourse and sexual union.
The initiation of actual physical union by her beloved (“penetration,” or better: “entry” or “initiating union”) is an immensely important part of the act for a woman who loves a man and wants to experience sexual union with him.
One of the most incredibly delightful moments of sexual intercourse for a man is when his wife gasps as he enters her. This involuntary reaction manifests the depth of the feeling involved. It is a very powerful moment for her, and therefore an extremely powerful one for him, as well. (I was a bit surprised — though I should not have been — to see how many women on reddit sex threads talk about this moment of the initial entry and “the gasp” in over-the-top terms.)
We should keep in mind that sex is very different, depending on the context. The sex between two young people dating but not committed to each other is very different from the sex between a long-married husband and wife. (How could it not be?) If a woman such as the one I am describing (one who is in a long-term committed relationship of exclusive love) is brought to an intense physical orgasm manually, but then denied the sexual union that is the natural completion of the act, that is often a source of real disappointment to her. She may love the orgasm, but she misses the sexual union. (This is also reflected somewhat in her reaction, if her husband slips out of her inadvertently – it can be a reaction of disappointment and almost of pain, because she has “lost” him, at least momentarily.)
If you and your beloved experience “the gasp,” cherish it — it is a wonderful moment indeed.