# Marital Sex

> Reflections on Marital Lovemaking


## Posts

- [Older sex can be hard work!](https://maritalsex.org/as-couples-age-the-simple-physical-sexual-act-as-well-as-the-emotional-act-can-be-harder/): Sex seems (and is) pretty effortless, most of the time, when you are young.
- [The Miracle of Marital Sex](https://maritalsex.org/the-miracle-of-marital-sex/): I believe that marital sex is truly miraculous.
- [Marital Intercourse and Orgasm](https://maritalsex.org/marital-intercourse-and-orgasm/): There are many discussions online about the relation between marital intercourse and orgasm.
- [A Wife's Orgasms](https://maritalsex.org/a-wifes-orgasms/): As I have written here (like so many others), a husband has an obligation to try to ensure that his wife achieves the ordinary full satisfaction of the marital act – a wifely orgasm.
- [Trial and error (and success) is better](https://maritalsex.org/trial-and-error-and-success-is-better/): Some married men (and couples) think that it is useful to read sex manuals or watch pornography because it is part of their "sex education" -- they will be better at their lovemaking if they watch how others engage in sexual activity.
- [What Men Want in Sex?](https://maritalsex.org/what-men-want-in-sex/): Well, a title like "what men want in sex" is, to some extent, a come-on.
- [My Generous Wife!](https://maritalsex.org/my-generous-wife/): One theme in this website’s musings has been the sexual differences between men and women, with husbands typically wanting to have relations more often than wives.
- [Self-Gift or Self-Centered?](https://maritalsex.org/self-gift-or-self-centered/): One problem that arises from differences between the sexes regarding the frequency of marital relations is this: the tension regarding how often to make love can exacerbate the tendency of males to focus on getting, not giving.
- [The Gasp](https://maritalsex.org/the-gasp-at-the-moment-of-entry/): There is much written about the alleged limits of sexual stimulation of a women by sexual intercourse (penetration and thrusting), as opposed, for example, to manual stimulation, with its more direct action on the clitoris.
- [How to sanctify marital sex: a few notes](https://maritalsex.org/how-to-sanctify-marital-sex/): Not many people think of "sanctifying" sex -- but why not? It's good (very good!) and it comes from God -- why shouldn't it "go back to Him" as well?
- [Looking Into or Looking At?](https://maritalsex.org/looking-into-or-looking-at/): Let me ask this question: which is "more important"? To look into a woman's eyes or to look at her breasts?
- [The Perennial Issue in Marriage, Again](https://maritalsex.org/the-perennial-issue-in-marriage-again/): It is a commonplace observation that men are often frustrated that their wives are not more interested in marital relations (that is, as interested as they are).
- [How Important is the Sexual Satisfaction of a Wife?](https://maritalsex.org/a-wifes-sexual-satisfaction-of-a-wife/): [This is an expansion of a brief comment on a good post at catholicintimacy.com.]
- [Husbands Tend to Take the Lead](https://maritalsex.org/husbands-tend-to-take-the-lead/): As I mention at other places on this website, I think that, in general (especially in genuine marriages, not just sexual couplings generically), husbands tend to take the lead in “directing” the flow of the action in marital sex.
- [Physical Beauty in Old Age](https://maritalsex.org/physical-beauty-in-old-age/): Someone who has been attracted to his wife's beauty for many decades is likely to have to confront the question of how to respond to a decline in her physical beauty in old age.
- [Other Aspects of Sex in Old Age?](https://maritalsex.org/other-aspects-of-sex-in-old-age/): I find that there are two countervailing tendencies in sex in old age.
- [Additional Thoughts on Foretalk](https://maritalsex.org/additional-thoughts-on-foretalk/): In the body of this website, one of the subjects is "foretalk," which I discuss here. I want to provide some additional thoughts on foretalk in this post.
- [From Physical Beauty to Spiritual](https://maritalsex.org/from-physical-beauty-to-spiritual/): Physical beauty can exert such an intense pull on us (men), because we are creatures of sense. That impact can be very immediate and powerful.
- [Unusually Thoughtful Comments on Marital Sexuality](https://maritalsex.org/unusually-thoughtful-comments-on-marital-sexuality/): As I have mentioned elsewhere on this website, I think the quality of reflection on marital lovemaking on websites today is generally pretty poor.
- [The Other Side of Older Sex](https://maritalsex.org/the-other-side-of-older-sex/): I recently posted on the benefits and delights of "older sex."
- [Sex in Old Age](https://maritalsex.org/sex-in-old-age/): A typical web discussion of sex in old age these days either trumpets how great it is, and how there need be no fall off from sex earlier in life, or speaks realistically of declining sexual powers, though with a recognition of the continuation of a satisfactory sexual life.
- [How Long Should Sex Last?](https://maritalsex.org/sex-should-last-as-long-as-she-wants-it-to/): For checking how long your lovemaking lasts?
- [The Sexual Urge: Need or Gift?](https://maritalsex.org/the-sexual-urge-need-or-gift/): It is natural for a man to be attracted to, drawn into, sexual activity by the prospect of the pleasure he will attain in it: we are naturally made to be sensitive to that, to want it!
- [Sexual Differences: Men, Women, and Sexual Desire](https://maritalsex.org/gender-sexual-mismatch/): Of all the features of sexuality that dominate day-to-day married life, one of the most important is a sort of mismatch in sexual desire between most men and women.
- [Lying with the Body](https://maritalsex.org/lying-with-the-body/): There is a cable tv program, The Americans, that is an effective drama, well-acted and well-plotted, (though it overdoes the explicit sex.)
- [How Unique We Are](https://maritalsex.org/how-unique-we-are/): My wife and I were watching a tv show tonight, in which one woman takes the place of another who has just died.
- [Welcome to these reflections on married lovemaking!](https://maritalsex.org/reflections-on-married-lovemaking/): You can find pages and pages on the internet about sex, but it's so difficult to find sites that ask a lot of the really interesting, and really difficult, questions about it.

## Pages

- [Privacy Policy](https://maritalsex.org/privacy-policy/): Our website address is: https://maritalsex.org.
- [Getting or Giving?](https://maritalsex.org/reflections-on-marital-sexuality/marital-sex-is-as-much-about-giving-as-getting/): When we move into sexual intercourse with our beloved, what are we aiming at? Is it about getting or giving?
- [What is the Aim of Marital Lovemaking?](https://maritalsex.org/reflections-on-marital-sexuality/the-aim-of-marital-lovemaking/): How Much Pleasure to Aim For?
- [Sex: A Mirror of Our Relationship with God](https://maritalsex.org/sex-and-the-spiritual-life/sex-a-mirror-of-our-relationship-with-god/): One of the wonders of human sexuality is the many ways in which the sexual relationship of a husband and wife is a mirror of our relationship with God.
- [Points for Meditation](https://maritalsex.org/sex-and-the-spiritual-life/points-for-meditation/): Those of us who have some religious belief, which leads us to pray -- that is, to converse with God, so that we can see our entire life in His eyes -- should bring everything to that conversation, including our marriages and our marital intimacy.
- [Moral Lovemaking: Within the Boundaries](https://maritalsex.org/sex-and-the-spiritual-life/moral-lovemaking/): Morality provides the outer bounds of human activity: it says that action, to be good and truly human, needs to be kept within certain bounds.
- [Marital Lovemaking and Temperance](https://maritalsex.org/sex-and-the-spiritual-life/marital-lovemaking-and-temperance/): Temperance is not something people usually think of, when they are talking about sex.
- [God in the Sexual Act](https://maritalsex.org/sex-and-the-spiritual-life/god-in-the-sexual-act/): Is God in the sexual act? Of course – He is everywhere, and we are always in His presence. Why would we want our marital intimacy to be without His presence?
- [Sex and the Spiritual Life](https://maritalsex.org/sex-and-the-spiritual-life/): Some people think of the spiritual life as just one component of life, but that is, of course, really wrong.
- [Sexual Union: the Point of It All](https://maritalsex.org/reflections-on-marital-sexuality/sexual-union/): Why do we have marital sex?
- [Sexual Pleasure](https://maritalsex.org/reflections-on-marital-sexuality/sexual-pleasure/): Sexual pleasure seems like such an obvious thing -- what could be unclear about it?! In fact, a good deal.
- [What is Sexual Desire?](https://maritalsex.org/reflections-on-marital-sexuality/what-is-sexual-desire/): Some people think it is a "desire for sex," that is, sexual activity or gratification (aka satisfaction of the feeling of being "horny").
- [Reflections on Marital Sexuality](https://maritalsex.org/reflections-on-marital-sexuality/): One of the first things to observe about marital intimacy and marital sexuality is that our personal experience, as individuals, HAS to be both similar to others and also different.
- [The Climax of Marital Intimacy](https://maritalsex.org/marital-lovemaking/climax-or-orgasm/): Sexual climax is, as the term suggests, the peak or high point of sexual intercourse and marital intimacy.
- [Uniting: The Two Become One](https://maritalsex.org/marital-lovemaking/uniting-or-the-two-become-one/): Foreplay in all its various forms points beyond itself to the goal of marital intercourse: the sexual union of the spouses.
- [Oral Foreplay, or "Glossing"](https://maritalsex.org/marital-lovemaking/oral-foreplay-or-glossing/): I am not ordinarily a big fan of inventing new words, but I make an exception in the case of cunnilingus. (That word sounds so technical and impersonal to me.)
- [Foreplay](https://maritalsex.org/marital-lovemaking/foreplay/): Ironically, an internet search for images of "foreplay" usually brings up pornographic pictures involving only bodies, which is strange -- because foreplay is really the process of people (not just bodies) preparing for sexual union.
- [Foretalk](https://maritalsex.org/marital-lovemaking/foretalk/): While there is much on the internet about physical foreplay that is not particularly insightful, there are more sensible observations on this topic than on many others.
- [Marital Lovemaking](https://maritalsex.org/marital-lovemaking/): Why and when should a husband seek out or pursue having relations with his wife?
- [Some Basic Female Sexual Anatomy](https://maritalsex.org/sexual-physiology/female-sexual-anatomy/): This section is included because of the ongoing debates about various forms of female sexual climax, especially the difference between so-called "vaginal orgasms" and "clitoral orgasms."
- [Female Sexual Response](https://maritalsex.org/sexual-physiology/female-sexual-response/): Widely accepted ideas about the physiological side of sex have been drawn from Masters and Johnson's Human Sexual Response.
- [Human Sexual Response Models](https://maritalsex.org/sexual-physiology/human-sexual-response/): Some sexologists, e.g., Masters and Johnson, divide human sexual response into the stages of “excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution”.
- [Sexual Physiology](https://maritalsex.org/sexual-physiology/): There is no need for this website to include much about the basic sexual physiology of male and female, because it is so readily available in many places.
- [Home: Thoughts on Marital Intimacy](https://maritalsex.org/marital-intimacy-home/): You can find pages and pages on the internet about sex, but it's so difficult to find sites that ask a lot of the really interesting, and really difficult, questions about it -- especially about marital intimacy.
- [Setting Up the Framework](https://maritalsex.org/marital-intimacy-home/setting-up-the-framework/): Let me begin by setting up the framework for this website. It consists mostly of reflections of an older husband on marital lovemaking. Why?
- [About W.L.](https://maritalsex.org/marital-intimacy-home/about-w-l-the-author-of-this-website/): About W. L.: sex and marital intimacy is fascinating, and W.L. is someone who is endlessly fascinated by it.

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